I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
