yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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