If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
