Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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