One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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