is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I enjoy the company of your penis
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
