Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
