This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
