Nicole vs. Life
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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