I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
