i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
