sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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