new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
