Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
