He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize