the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
