ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
