UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
