Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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