I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
did you just send me my own nude
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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