roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
