I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
