i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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