Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
time to smoke my breakfast
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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