I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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