I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
