all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
