You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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