so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
