No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
