Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
