he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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