He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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