I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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