Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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