just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
