is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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