oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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