Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
