she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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