his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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