I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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