i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
