yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
