just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
