i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Drunk is not a location!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
