Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
