I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
