apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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