his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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