Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm too high and old for this...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
