I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
