Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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