I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
