Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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